left..left......left..right...left

hmmm

ever have the feeling of being incredibly left out?

if you haven't, then thats awesome..

but if u have, you'd probably know what i'm going through right now..

i'm not bitter or anything, far from it.. i understand its hard to include everyone

but it doesn't change how incredibly miserable i am right now..
when you're the only one from a particular group to be left out (as far as i know), it does cut pretty deep..

i guess i can react to this in quite a few ways.. one of them is not letting it make me close up from ppl... which is entirely possible... as after all the growth i've had in the past 6 months... i still feel like i'm on the whole outer... like everybody is in some nearly soundproof bubble, and i'm just outside, catching a few words here and there so I get a glimpse of the bubble, but not really being part of it all.. guess its the price i pay for doing what i did for the last few years up until 6 months ago... or mebe its jus me... maybe i'm jus not an engaging person... and ppl jus humour me when i try and interact with them....

i dunno, i'm majorly overreacting to this all... i haven't been depressed and majorly insecure for a long time, and i guess its just weird feeling like this.. not sure how to deal with it.... at all... thus why i am failing terribly at trying to deal...

er... hmm..

-d